Working within the Women’s health space, being a woman myself, having many amazing friends who are women, coming from generations of beautiful women, and having a huge passion for women, I feel I am somewhat qualified in having an opinion on what women face on a day to day basis. Now I am no blogger but I felt compelled to share this and let you all know many of you are thinking the same.
There is a common theme among us all and it is a feeling of inadequacy. Why women do you feel so inadequate? “I am not doing enough, being enough, achieving enough” Trust me I know, I have said this to myself over and over. I’m here to call BS. It’s just simply not true. It’s a blatant lie that we continue to tell ourselves. So why do we do it?
I am of the opinion that as we have evolved as a gender, our roles have changed dramatically over generations. This is a good thing yes? We have seen movements for women’s rights, we have a dialogue over gender equality and are moving rapidly towards achieving more in this space. We are making a stance against the discrimination, the violence, the heartache that women have endured and unfortunately continue to endure. Do we need to continue this work? Absolutely! Do we need men in these conversations and working towards solving these issues? For Sure, but this is a whole other topic and not where I intended to go here.
This is more about what I see as a flow on effect of these changes. We are working on empowering women, encouraging women, telling them to speak up, educating, supporting and focusing on women more than we ever have before. So why in a world where we are now told we can be anything we want, do we still feel like we are not doing enough?
From my own life lessons I have learned that yes I can be anything I want, does this mean I have to be everything I want? Does this mean I have to do everything I want to the nth degree? Does this mean I have to bust myself to the point of breaking to be successful in everything that women are capable of? NO! But for some reason, I seem to think I have to and It seems many women are telling themselves this also. This is leaving us to feel in a place of never meeting these incredibly high expectations that we place on ourselves.
We compare, we seem to think other women are doing it better than us. We struggle with the juggle.
We struggle with juggling the career, succeeding in a man’s world, being a good mum, a good wife/partner. Making sure we keep a healthy body and get to the gym.
Ensuring the house is clean, and making home-cooked organic meals for our family, making our own cleaning products to avoid cancer, and having a waste-free home because we must remember the environment.
Don’t forget about the children and raising them to be resilient and responsible. High-pressure choices breast/bottle, natural birth vs c section. What about handling those tantrums in public? “Please child stop kicking and screaming, people are judging me!”
Keeping a healthy marriage, sexy time, date night meeting his needs, is he meeting mine? “Why do I have to tell him what I want, if he loves me shouldn’t he know?”
Volunteering for committees, P&C’s, to cook a friend a meal, to babysit because “they all need help.”
Being a leader, a professional, career advancement. What about ensuring time is made for self-care, am I financially stable and independent?
Family, darn it forgot the niece’s birthday. “I’m such a bad aunt.” Don’t forget harmony day, dress up day. “my children went to school in uniform” I’m such a bad mum.”
Picking the kids up, dropping them off, trying not to be a parent who dumps and runs. Kids birthdays “how am I going to top last year?”
Throw your pelvic floor exercises in there make sure we are keeping tight down there, don’t want to wet your pants at the gym or when you laugh or sneeze.
Is anyone else exhausted by this? Does anyone else see the pattern forming? No wonder we don’t feel good enough.
Women I want to tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH. In whatever it is you are doing, wherever you choose your focus to be, it is enough. You DO NOT have to do all of the above. That is the beauty of this new women’s movement, we have the choice. It doesn’t mean the obligation needs to come with it.
Will there be other women that do some things better than you? Sorry to say but Yes! Are there things you do better than other women? 100% yes! Is there a single woman in this world that is able to do all of this? NO WAY! Please remember something has to give in one area for you to be successful in the other.
You are doing an incredible job in this modern world. All women, just because you are capable of it all, doesn’t mean you have to do it all now or ever. Know your strength and please let go of the inadequacy. You are enough and you are brilliant.